Argued with my mom for the past few days.

Early in the morning, and late at night.

I was getting scolded for all sorts of reason.

Remembered that you used to cheer me up and make me smile when I had family problems.

Now, I'm all on my own.

I wished I wasn't born because my mother blames all her sickness and physical problems on me.

She always says that it's my fault that she has thyroid.

She always says that it's because she gave birth to me that she has a weak body.

I felt so.. I can't even think of a word to describe it. Unwanted? Hated? I don't know.

I feel so lonely at home.

I feel left out at home.

It's as if I don't exist.

How strange that every song seemed to scream out my emotions.

Seemed to scream out our past.

Seemed to scream out our memories.

Seemed to scream out my love for you.

I had always wanted to go KTV with you.

Just that, that one time you asked, I rejected.

Why?

I was afraid I would embarrass you, because I sucked at singing.

I spent a lot of time training to sing, so that during the holidays I could go and sing with you and your friends.

I wouldn't embarrass you in front of your friends.

I wanted you to be proud of me.

I don't think I will get the chance to show you my effort anymore.

Went to Wei Keong's house to celebrate his early birthday, which falls tomorrow.

Ate chili crab, and it reminded me of last year when we went to his house to eat chili crab and play mahjong.

It was your first time playing mahjong and you were having soooo much fun, even though you couldn't really play skilfully.

We had cheese cake after, but you didn't want it, so I ate it for you.

I was so happy then.

I remember that I sent you home after, and I hugged you before you went home.

I was wishing you were with us the whole time we were eating chili crab.

They asked me to invite you too, because you were part of click clique.

Gave them an excuse that you were busy with prelims.

They were disappointed, but I didn't tell them because I still don't accept that we are over.

In my heart, we are still us.

I almost got hit by a large car at the T-junction when it went up the curb.

I saw my life flash past me.

I felt depressed instantly.

Even though I was wishing to die these days, when it really came to the real deal.

I was scared.

I didn't want to die.

I wanted to see you, I wanted to hear you laugh, I wanted to see you laugh until you cried.

I wasn't ready to leave all my problems and die.

I haven't given up.

Even if it's just a small glimmer of hope, I want it.

I need you back.

It has been 11 days without you.

It seemed like a month.

I love you.

I miss you.