Did what my heart told me to do.

I was afraid, yes, but I was more afraid of being too late.

I remember all those times that I was being silly.

I made you laugh until you cried tears of laughter.

I remember all those times that I was being unreasonable.

I made you sad until you cried tears of pain.

I remember all those times we argued and quarreled.

But it would be fine the next day.

I remember those times when I used to brush your hair with my fingers.

I remember those times I would try to smell your head whenever I could.

I remember those times I held your little hands when they were cold.

I remember those times I laughed at you when you did something funny.

I remember those times you hit me as I laughed at you.

I remember those times we both silently smiled to each other without saying a word.

I remember those times we were happy together without everything.

I remember those times when just having each others' company was enough to get through a day.

Even though there were times when we were really in pain, just by being together.

We knew that as long as we continued to stay together, we would still be happy in the end.

Things would change for the better.

A fairy tale, you love me and I love you.

We made our vows of love.

To get married.

Buy a house of our own.

Clean the house together every saturday.

I would scream at you because you were dirty.

We'd get a car, and I'd drive you to work everyday.

I would get you flowers because I didn't get a chance to give you when we were teenagers.

We'd hug each other to sleep every night, and you would be the last thing I see when I go to sleep, and I would be the last thing you see when you go to sleep.

We'd hug each other til' we wake up every morning, and you would be the first thing I see when I wake up, and I would be the first thing you see when you wake up.

I would make breakfast for you, without bread, because you loved breakfast and hated bread.

I would make scrambled eggs for you with sausages.

All of these were what we promised.

I hold true to them, and I want them to happen.

I don't want them to remain as a dream.

Even just remembering these memories, I would smile.

Smile, then it turns to tears, because I don't know if I'm the only one holding these promises.

Tears because I don't know if you will still come back to me.

Someone came by, and snatched you from my grasp.

He isn't someone good.

Why?

Was it because he is richer?

Was it because he looked better?

Was it because he was skinnier?

Was it because you couldn't be proud of me?

Was it because you thought I was an embarrassment?

He isn't true to you.

He is just playing around with you.

Why don't you understand?

Why do I still hope so much, when the false hope I had was crushed to smithereens just yesterday.

I was still hoping you still cared.

I was still hoping for everything.

2 words from you, destroyed all the hope that got me past these few days.

But, no matter.

I still have more hope, even if it ends up with me getting hurt even more.

I don't know why myself, why I still love you despite the pain I'm going through.

You were my everything, and my only love.

Even after all you've done to me, I still can't bring myself to hate you.

I thought ours was a fairy tale.

Just you love me, and I love you, overcoming obstacles, and living happily ever after.

Remember that time when I told you if I had a terminal disease and a few more days to live, I wouldn't tell you. I would disappear from your life quietly, because I felt that hate was easier to let go. You would find someone better than me.

You cried and said that I was "stupid stupid stupid stupid!!!!"

You told me that you would rather spend the last few days with me in happiness.

You told me you wanted to walk with me to the end.

That time, was the first time I cried in 10 years.

I felt loved for the first time.

I felt that my existence was acknowledged and appreciated for the first time.

But that's all just memories that I love.

Memories that I love, that comes back to hit me much harder.

Worse thing of all?

That you're not here to tell me "it's okay".

I said and promised that I would wait.

So I will.

I don't know what to do anymore.